This piece first appeared in January 29th, 2009 edition of the Pioneer Tribune, a weekly newspaper from Manistique, Michigan. Please visit their website: http://www.pioneertribune.com/
The middle of winter is nearly upon us. Now I know that the beginning, middle and end of winter are terms that are relative to your current location, but technically, the middle is nearly here.
Usually by this time, those of us who live in the northern climates have become accustomed to traveling on roads that are less than ideal for driving. Each year we need to relearn our winter driving skills when our roadways are covered by the first snows that typically fall during late autumn. It’s kind of like the automotive equivalent of getting our “sea legs.”
The first few times the roads become snow-covered we all tend to drive a little slower and a little more cautiously. If you lose control early in the season, it is very easy to travel great distances in a spiraling, off-road adventure through “tacky lawn ornament” filled yards in residential neighborhoods and over all manner of terrain in the rural areas. On the highways that travel through wooded areas, it can be quite easy to make it all the way to the trees.
These are scenarios that we all seek to avoid but not all of us manage to do. Some need to relearn their winter driving skills the hard way.
As winter drags on and we become comfortable driving on less than perfect roads, some people start to become overly confident of their driving abilities and the handling abilities of their vehicles.
One morning a few years back, I was listening to the radio on my way to work. A lady had phoned the radio station from her car to let the morning DJ know that the highway she was driving on, U.S. 2, was snow covered and very slippery. He asked her how fast she was driving. She replied that she was doing 55 or 60 mph. I had to laugh. Here she was reporting that the roads were dangerously slippery, yet she was driving at or above the legal speed limit for roads that are clear and dry (55 mph is the fastest speed you can legally drive on any road in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, with the exception of I-75 in the eastern end, for those of you who aren’t familiar with the area). I’m sure she wasn’t the only person driving this fast.
As winter progresses the snowbanks along the roadways become bigger and it becomes a bit harder for an out-of-control vehicle to make it very far into the ditch. It would seem that it may even be a challenge for some to make it all the way to the tree line; a Winter Olympics for automobiles, if you will. Sometimes, you can see evidence of valiant attempts to set the new “out-of-control snowbank hurdle” distance record. Once upon a time, the best competitors in this event were young women in red cars, but I think they have been outdone in recent years.
Now, the new champions of the “Snow Bank Olympics” are men in four-wheel drive pickup trucks with the number “3” in the back window.
In most cases, the bigger the truck, the farther it goes off of the road. Now many of you would argue that it is just physics that allow these trucks to set the distance record, but I disagree. I say that it is the mentality of the insecure male that sends these behemoths of the road hurtling toward the trees like a bowling ball bent on picking up a spare.
Giant tires on a giant truck are often a great indicator as to how manly the insecure man behind the wheel wishes to be. A man with great big manly tires and a Dale Earnhardt sticker in the window must drive at speeds that would surely qualify him for the pole position at Daytona. These speeds, in cooperation with the giant truck, let everyone else on the highway know that the driver is, in fact, a man. Not just an ordinary man, no sir. This guy is a manly man.
Now I know that there are guys out there who are saying, “Hey, you jerk, I have a big truck with big tires and I don’t drive like that!” To this small handful of guys, I say: I’m not talking about you, and you should be secure enough to know that.
The guys that I am talking about usually lose control when they attempt to pass some “idiot” who is driving at a speed that is more appropriate for the road conditions. They end up crossing over to the opposite side of the road to make their attempt at the record. Later on, when they receive their ticket for driving too fast for conditions, they will argue that they weren’t driving all that fast.
It would seem to me that if you lose control of your vehicle, no matter what the speed, you are driving too fast for conditions. If you are driving 5 mph and you lose control, it is abundantly clear that 5 mph is too fast for conditions.
Many times when these events occur, the only harm that is done is some damage to the vehicle and to the pocketbook of the driver who lost control. Other times, the property on which the event took place is damaged in some way, or maybe there is some damage to the vehicle of another driver. Unfortunately, there are occasions where the damages are far greater. Many people have been seriously injured or killed by others who insist on driving in this reckless fashion.
Four-wheel drive, seat belts, anti-lock brakes and air bags have all greatly improved the overall safety of vehicles, but they also lend a false sense of invincibility. There isn’t a vehicle or a driver on the highway that can’t lose control, and that includes you and your truck, manly man.
The middle of winter is nearly upon us. Now I know that the beginning, middle and end of winter are terms that are relative to your current location, but technically, the middle is nearly here.
Usually by this time, those of us who live in the northern climates have become accustomed to traveling on roads that are less than ideal for driving. Each year we need to relearn our winter driving skills when our roadways are covered by the first snows that typically fall during late autumn. It’s kind of like the automotive equivalent of getting our “sea legs.”
The first few times the roads become snow-covered we all tend to drive a little slower and a little more cautiously. If you lose control early in the season, it is very easy to travel great distances in a spiraling, off-road adventure through “tacky lawn ornament” filled yards in residential neighborhoods and over all manner of terrain in the rural areas. On the highways that travel through wooded areas, it can be quite easy to make it all the way to the trees.
These are scenarios that we all seek to avoid but not all of us manage to do. Some need to relearn their winter driving skills the hard way.
As winter drags on and we become comfortable driving on less than perfect roads, some people start to become overly confident of their driving abilities and the handling abilities of their vehicles.
One morning a few years back, I was listening to the radio on my way to work. A lady had phoned the radio station from her car to let the morning DJ know that the highway she was driving on, U.S. 2, was snow covered and very slippery. He asked her how fast she was driving. She replied that she was doing 55 or 60 mph. I had to laugh. Here she was reporting that the roads were dangerously slippery, yet she was driving at or above the legal speed limit for roads that are clear and dry (55 mph is the fastest speed you can legally drive on any road in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, with the exception of I-75 in the eastern end, for those of you who aren’t familiar with the area). I’m sure she wasn’t the only person driving this fast.
As winter progresses the snowbanks along the roadways become bigger and it becomes a bit harder for an out-of-control vehicle to make it very far into the ditch. It would seem that it may even be a challenge for some to make it all the way to the tree line; a Winter Olympics for automobiles, if you will. Sometimes, you can see evidence of valiant attempts to set the new “out-of-control snowbank hurdle” distance record. Once upon a time, the best competitors in this event were young women in red cars, but I think they have been outdone in recent years.
Now, the new champions of the “Snow Bank Olympics” are men in four-wheel drive pickup trucks with the number “3” in the back window.
In most cases, the bigger the truck, the farther it goes off of the road. Now many of you would argue that it is just physics that allow these trucks to set the distance record, but I disagree. I say that it is the mentality of the insecure male that sends these behemoths of the road hurtling toward the trees like a bowling ball bent on picking up a spare.
Giant tires on a giant truck are often a great indicator as to how manly the insecure man behind the wheel wishes to be. A man with great big manly tires and a Dale Earnhardt sticker in the window must drive at speeds that would surely qualify him for the pole position at Daytona. These speeds, in cooperation with the giant truck, let everyone else on the highway know that the driver is, in fact, a man. Not just an ordinary man, no sir. This guy is a manly man.
Now I know that there are guys out there who are saying, “Hey, you jerk, I have a big truck with big tires and I don’t drive like that!” To this small handful of guys, I say: I’m not talking about you, and you should be secure enough to know that.
The guys that I am talking about usually lose control when they attempt to pass some “idiot” who is driving at a speed that is more appropriate for the road conditions. They end up crossing over to the opposite side of the road to make their attempt at the record. Later on, when they receive their ticket for driving too fast for conditions, they will argue that they weren’t driving all that fast.
It would seem to me that if you lose control of your vehicle, no matter what the speed, you are driving too fast for conditions. If you are driving 5 mph and you lose control, it is abundantly clear that 5 mph is too fast for conditions.
Many times when these events occur, the only harm that is done is some damage to the vehicle and to the pocketbook of the driver who lost control. Other times, the property on which the event took place is damaged in some way, or maybe there is some damage to the vehicle of another driver. Unfortunately, there are occasions where the damages are far greater. Many people have been seriously injured or killed by others who insist on driving in this reckless fashion.
Four-wheel drive, seat belts, anti-lock brakes and air bags have all greatly improved the overall safety of vehicles, but they also lend a false sense of invincibility. There isn’t a vehicle or a driver on the highway that can’t lose control, and that includes you and your truck, manly man.
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