Friday, January 9, 2009

Answer that! Will ya?

This piece first appeared in January 8th, 2009 edition of the Pioneer Tribune, a weekly newspaper from Manistique, Michigan. Please visit their website: http://www.pioneertribune.com/

At one time, not all that long ago, the sound of a ringing telephone was, arguably, the most universally recognizable mechanical sound on the planet. No matter where you traveled, when you heard that sound in its various patterns and durations, you knew that it was the sound of a telephone.

For nearly a century, a ringing bell was the standard of incoming telephone call heraldry. New laws and technology would change all of that.

In the mid 1980s the government deregulated the telephone service here in the U.S. to break up what appeared to be a monopoly on the telecommunications industry held by the “Bell System” (AT&T). Before deregulation, “Ma Bell” controlled much of the telephone system in the United States.

Before the break-up of AT&T, most people rented their telephones from the phone company. The phone company also owned all of the telephone wire and the jacks that were inside of your house. This meant that if you wanted to move a phone or install an extension in another room, you needed to have a telephone serviceman come to your house and do that for you. After deregulation, you could own your telephone and you could do your own telephone wiring.

Back then, a company called Western Electric (which was owned by AT&T) made most of the telephones that were used in the “Bell System.” Western Electric telephones were virtually indestructible. Many of the Western Electric phones that were made in the ’70s or earlier are still in use today. I have owned several that “didn’t work” any more, and with a little cleaning and some simple wiring repairs I have managed to resurrect them.

It is said that cockroaches are the only thing that would survive a nuclear holocaust. Rest assured, they wouldn’t be the only thing that would survive. Western Electric telephones would probably make it, too. Cockroaches will be glad to know that they will have a way to phone their parents in Orlando.

After deregulation, a lot of companies jumped on the telephone bandwagon and started to make a wide variety of telephones. Many of these phones were made of cheap components and they felt real flimsy. People were accustomed to the heft of the old Western Electric phones and they associated that heft with quality.

The manufacturers of cheap phones knew that it would be tough to convince consumers to buy a telephone that felt like a kid’s toy, so in order to give the phone some heft and to give the consumer a false sense of quality, many of these phones were made with metal weights inside of them.

Cordless phones were introduced around this time, but for the most part they were considered a luxury item by many because they were so expensive. They were quite impressive, though. They were large and had gigantic antennas that were reminiscent of World War II field radios. Being cordless, they allowed us the luxury of talking from any room of the house, that is, as long as the house you lived in was very small and didn’t have any walls between the rooms. Distances over five feet and walls made of anything other than paper had adverse effects on early cordless phone conversations.

Most of the new phones that were being manufactured were electronic devices that used integrated circuits (ICs) mounted on circuit boards. This allowed them to be a bit more compact than their Western Electric predecessors, but it also restricted the use of bells for ringers in many models. These phones used what we referred to as “chirp” ringers. Bells were cumbersome and required moving parts. Chirp ringers were electronic, had no moving parts and were tiny. Chirp ringers are related to the technology that makes musical greeting cards possible. Chirp ringers were also hard for many people to get used to.

Shortly after deregulation, I worked for one of the few local retailers that sold telephones. Since telephones were new technology in the hands of consumers, the store I worked for had a “telephone department,” and it was my job to assist customers with making the proper telephone selection.

From time to time, people would return telephones to us because they couldn’t hear the chirp ringer. I had several people tell me that they thought a bird had gotten into their house, only to remember later that it was the sound of their new telephone and then realize that they had missed a call. We were all used to the familiar RRRRRRRIIIINNNNNG - RRRRRRRIIIINNG our old telephones made.

It was also around this time that we started to hear the term “cellular phone.” People would ask me from about the availability of cellular phones and at the time it was not an option anywhere in Upper Michigan.

Mobile phones were available from the company that provided pager service, but the expense of a mobile phone was high and the coverage was limited. Mobile phones were quite large and had to be installed in your vehicle. Carrying one around with you was out of the question.

Unlike cellular phones, mobile phones did not automatically switch from tower to tower as you traveled along. When you got out of range of the tower you were using, your call would drop and you would need to redial the person you were talking to and, with luck, you were in range of the next tower so you could try and make your call again.

In the ’90s, cellular telephone service was slowly introduced to the Upper Peninsula. There were a handful of towers set up to handle the handful of cellular phones that had been purchased in the area.

These new “cell phones” were small and compact; they were only about twice the size of a WWII field radio. Many of the available cell phones had to be installed in a vehicle, much like the mobile phones. They had relatively small but significant antennas that could be permanently mounted to the vehicle, but most had magnetic bases that would stick to the roof or the trunk lid of your car.

Having a cell phone antenna on your car was a status symbol. People knew that you were a big shot if they saw that slim black antenna with what looked like a pig-tailed curl in the middle. Such was the demand for the status associated with having a cell phone that some companies began marketing phony cell phone antennas that you could mount on your car for that “cell phone look.”

Those days are now ancient history in terms of technology. The cell phone antenna that once was the mainstay of communication status has given way to Bluetooth headsets that do much to give the impression that people are walking around and talking to themselves. Rotary telephones are now novelty items that you can find on eBay.

Telephone booths that used to dot the landscape and provide a balanced diet of moths for the spiders that built their webs in the corners are only a memory as well. The last one in existence (in my world, anyway) was located at the old Campers Market near Indian Lake State Park. About a year ago I took a few photos of it, because it is so odd to see a phone booth these days. I’m glad I did. Less than a month later it was gone.

There used to be a booth out in the woods near the Two-Hearted River, but I have my doubts that it is still there. There was also a booth at the Little Lake Harbor up near Crisp Point. The last time I was there, the booth was so full of sand that had blown in from the shore of Lake Superior that only about half of the booth was above ground. I’ll bet that it’s still there, although you may have to dig for it.

Like many of you, I too have a cell phone. While I have a very good understanding of the technology and how it works, it still amazes me. The cell phone coverage in our area continues to improve, and I still find it impressive that I can talk to all points of the globe while snow blowing my driveway.

While my phone doesn’t have anywhere near all of the bells and whistles that are available these days, it, like most, has a wide variety of sounds it can make when someone is calling me. Mine can make all of the “chirp” sounds that are so common today. It too can play little melodies like the rest. I’m sure that I could download complete songs for it to play, but the one sound it makes that I really like is the sound of an old style telephone. Yes, my cell phone actually rings when I’m receiving a call. When my phone rings I never have to wonder “Is that my phone?” and I never think “Where is that music coming from?”

A few weeks back I was in at the bank, and while I was standing at the teller’s window my phone rang. I pulled it out and silenced the ringer and put the phone back into my pocket.

“That’s a weird ring tone” the teller said.



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